Freedom of speech, freedom of shmeench – if there’s one thing Twitter is good for, it’s drive-by burns by complete strangers. Whether it’s 140 or 280 characters, Twitter really is the only social network that not only celebrates but downright rewards people roasting folks they’ve never met – and we’re so there for it. These burns and comebacks can’t be held down by any character limits.
A moo-ving sentiment
Hey, do you know how you can tell someone’s vegan? Don’t worry about it, they’ll be sure to let you know themselves! Old jokes aside, we can’t fault PETA for their valiant efforts to protect animals.
There’s a lot to be said for cutting back some on meat consumption, but we do have to question their methods a little bit. If you’re trying to get us to empathize with animals, PETA, maybe reminding us we have very few friends – and none of them are actually cows – isn’t the best tactic.
Your mileage may vary
Ah, this old scenario again. Can anyone here honestly say they’ve never been there – a sibling buying you a brand new car because they were sick of seeing you drive the old one? No? Not a single person on Earth? Huh, funny.
Well, this lady claims precisely that happened to her. The user near the bottom of the image apparently found her claim as dubious as we did, pointing out that the only free thing her brother ever gave her was a tall, frosty glass of shut-up juice.
Shrek bod
Hey, remember Magic Mike? Sure you don’t, it’s that movie with Channing Tatum playing Channing Tatum, only as an exotic dancer this time. He’s got quite the range. Anyway, this genius pointed out Magic Mike’s $167 million box office as proof that women, or “girls” as he put it, don’t actually like dad bods.
Funny, seems like the only exercise he does is jumping to conclusions. The second commenter spoke up for all of us, by noting Shrek made a ton more money – and its central character didn’t have a single ab.
An enemy greater than ever before
We hope you haven’t eaten lunch anytime during… oh, the past 35 years or so. This picture poses two alternative scenarios. Either this guy, who we’re almost sure isn’t The Notebook’s Ryan Gosling, actually made a mayo-and-pea pizza intending to consume it or he did it as a goof.
In the first scenario, he’s certifiably insane, while in the second he should just be slapped for wasting perfectly good pizza. Whether you like pineapple on your pizza or not, mayonnaise and peas are a crime against both man and God.
Life, uh, finds a way
Now, we’re not going to just hurl ugly allegations against an esteemed publication like BBC Earth, but… We mean, how DO you accidentally make a dinosaur-faced chicken? Like, we would be really happy if someone could walk us through the technical details of that happening. Well, since no one volunteered, we did the leg work ourselves.
Apparently, scientists played around with the molecular processes a chicken embryo was undergoing. Then, instead of giving it a beak they gave it a snout, like a dinosaur’s. That doesn’t sound accidental at all, though. They’re actively trying to create dino-chickens.
The sacrifice is real
You’re totally right, Access. After all, what is bravery if not eating normal people food before attending your ultra weird gala for the weirdest rich people on the planet? Kendall Jenner is, for lack of a better term, a paragon of human virtue.
Sadly, there are some cynics still trolling around, who fail to bask in Kendall’s splendor. To them, we provide this account by a totally real victim of the Syrian civil war, who was able to draw strength from her example. Not all heroes wear capes – some of them wear freakishly huge feather boas.
The ultimate fantasy
We really don’t think the real Smurfette would ask a question this provocative – what would Papa Smurf say?! – but an account by the same name asked Twitter at large what’s one thing they’d like to try in the bedroom.
One user, speaking for exhausted parents and working drones the world over, suggested a good night’s sleep. We’ve never agreed with a random stranger online more. Forget Fifty Shades of Grey, what we’d really like to see happen is Fifty Shades of Lay…ing in bed and peacefully going to sleep.
Under his umbrella, ella, ella
You know, the term “toxic masculinity” is thrown around quite a lot these days in online conversations. There’s no universal agreed-upon definition of what exactly it means, but if you twisted our arms, we’d say it’s someone suggesting that not getting soaking wet is somehow unmanly.
Well, “Miles Davis,” if that is indeed your real name, grown men are also affected by precipitation. Crazy, right? Apparently being an adult male does not automatically bestow upon you Aquaman’s superpowers – and no one’s more disappointed than us, we really wanted to talk to fish.
No habla el check-o
Look, not everyone has perfect spelling and grammar. Everyone’s circumstances in life are different and some people didn’t get the privilege of a formal education. Now, that having been said, misspelling words is fine but… can you at least be in the same zip-code of the word you were trying to spell?
We’re not sure how “obligated” became “habla gated,” but no, the answer is no. Men are neither obli nor habla gated to pay for everything in a relationship – even ones whose English is so bad it seems like a different language altogether.
Consider us warned
We’re kind of sad for Popular Science. The magazine has been around for nearly 150 years, and has adapted to the tectonic changes the publishing industry went through in that time. Of course, almost every publication has made a huge leap into digital content, and that has its own set of rules.
Namely, you sometimes have to grab a reader’s attention with such eye-catching copy as “Warning: Do NOT get into a breath-holding contest with a naked mole-rat.” Great tip, PopSci! Our local bar has ton of mole-rat patrons who keep challenging us to those.
Right, but are there… six?!
Sometimes, life imitates art in splendid ways. Other times, life imitates art in profoundly stupid ways. See if you can guess which category this one falls under. Apparently, in 2018 scientists said they could recreate living dinosaurs within the next five years, which means they have about three years left today.
Now, there’s no way those scientists didn’t watch Jurassic Park, so our only question is this – was their takeaway from the movie really “This is a great idea that we should also try”? Did Samuel L. Jackson’s character get eaten by dinosaur for nothing?!
Why not both?
Say what you will about the unsolicited bit of drive-by factoid here, but Rashad is right on the money. Our fingers do indeed become wrinkly when we stay in water for a prolonged period of time to give us a better grip.
More specifically, the pruning is caused by our blood vessels constricting below the surface of the skin. Interesting, right? Well, sort of. The other user seemed to think it was just the universe’s signal to us that it was time to get out of the bathtub, and neither interpretation’s wrong.
Life-changing life hack
We’re all for useful life hacks. Hey, anything that gets us to look at something basic we’ve been doing wrong or inefficiently or whatever for years, and then shows us a better way to do it, is A-okay in our book. Here’s the thing, though – the operative word here is “useful.”
This life hack, for example, is not. “No taco shells? Use tortillas”? Taco shells ARE tortillas in a different configuration, you dimwit! Yes, it’s about as useful as suggesting that if we’re ever out of oxygen, we should try breathing air.
Playing the blame game
For all the heat Twitter, and social media in general, are getting, there’s no ignoring the good they’ve brought into our lives. For example, interacting with our favorite celebrities has never been easier and quicker.
Just think about it – now anyone can just keyboard-vomit at Hollywood’s biggest A-listers. And while Nickelback definitely do not fit that particular bill, they’re still sort of famous. Proving that they have as much class as they do musical talent, they shot right back at a random fan’s accusation. That’ll show her thinking about your band!
Messed with the wrong programmer
Lyndsey Scott gives a whole new meaning to the term “model student.” It might not surprise you to learn that she’s a successful model. In fact, she’s the first African-American to sign an exclusive runway deal with Calvin Klein.
Perhaps more surprising, though, is the fact that she’s an accomplished coder, having written programs since she was 12. She even juggles her modeling and acting work with working for tech companies. And these two guys thought the only thing she could do was write a program that says “Hello World” – the biggest insult among programmers, apparently.
Vegan is as vegan does
We’ve had a long, difficult talk with our legal team and they advised us that we cannot, in fact, claim vegans bio-engineered a tick whose bite makes humans allergic to meat. So we’re definitely not saying that… but we’re not saying they DIDN’T do that either, y’know?
William here apparently does not enjoy the protection of his own legal team, however, so he had no problem claiming it was just the first step in vegans’ planned takeover. Come on, Will. How are they going to take over anything with that B12 deficiency?
He’ll get right on that, we’re sure
The last thing we want to do is try and match wits with Neil deGrasse Tyson. No one’s saying he isn’t smart, but no one’s§ crazy for saying he could stand to be… a bit nicer. We mean, his middle name almost sounds like his attitude to other people.
We’re not the only ones to pick up on it, apparently. Noting Tyson’s grumbling tweet about not being able to ruin Armageddon for everyone, Netflix’s official account informed him that it’s now available. And hey, when he’s done maybe he can tell some kids there’s no Santa!
Dropping the dime on Tony Stark
We have no further information to add to these grainy security camera images, and that may prove to be our biggest regret in life. Apparently, though, this guy committed some kind of crime and now police are on the hunt for him.
Jojo here respects the code of the streets, but figured he might as well clue everyone onto the fact that the guy is probably Iron Man. We mean, he IS wearing his mask underneath that hoodie… The only thing that doesn’t make sense is that Tony Stark’s a billionaire – why would he hold up a 7-Eleven?
Aren’t they though?
With all the good the internet has done, it also gave jerks the cloak of semi-anonymity, which magnified their jerkness tenfold. Just take this guy! Apparently, he thinks that disabled-only parking should only be in force Monday through Friday from nine to five.
Because of course there’s no reason people with genuine disabilities would be out beyond those times. It’s not like they ever just want to catch a movie, right? Luckily, Jennifer was able to set him straight… but now we’re wondering if he really did think people in wheelchairs couldn’t face the light of the moon.
Crying over spilt cash
Don’t you just absolutely love these celebrity “woe is me” articles? We mean, what’s more relatable than the world’s youngest self-made billionaire wringing her hands over the fact that she “missed out on being normal”?
Well, we hate to break it to you like this, Kylie Jenner, but Chedda tha savage isn’t wrong. Most of us missed out on being rich too, so you can just go ahead and dry those tears with crisp $100 bills. Also? The Kardashian-Jenner family needs about three degrees of divine intervention to come within a mile of being normal.
Geoffrey, is that you?!
Honestly? We don’t know what exactly is going on here. The tweet accompanying this photo came from an account called Joey Tribbiani, who was a fictional character on Friends. “Work till you can afford a giraffe”? What does that even mean?
Has that ever been a goal anyone had in life? We also can’t help but feel that the giraffe in the photo isn’t, strictly speaking, alive. Either way, though, getting it inside the house must’ve been quite the logistical challenge. This isn’t just an odd flex, it made our brain melt.
International house of burn-cakes
Come on, you knew it was coming. These days, it’s en vogue for major corporations to operate a snarky Twitter account. Twitter, apparently, is the hip, cool platform where corporations can let down their hair and just outright insult their customers to their (digital) faces.
And the very best of the best in electronic evisceration has to be Wendy’s. In this tweet, the pig-tailed pugilist ragged on IHOP for trying to broaden their horizons a little bit. Don’t be that bully, Wendy. We’d have thought a redhead would know better.
Don’t diss the U.S. Postal Service, nerd
There aren’t many things more disgusting on this planet than people who look down on others for no other reason than the job they do. Here it is one last time, so the people in the back can hear it – no job is “degrading” or beneath anyone.
Working your way through life and feeding yourself and your loved ones is something to be proud of. This is a lesson this weasel never learned, apparently, dubbing postal workers “package delivery guys.” Right, like playing Fortnite in your parents’ basement all day is so much more respectable.
Not even close
Rob Fee, you’ll be excused for not knowing, is a producer, writer, and director who’s worked in Hollywood for years, so he has to have some kind of insight into the inner machinations of Tinseltown. So what cutting observation did this industry whistle-blower provide us with?
Hmm, that apparently Johnny Depp wears a lot of thumb rings. We actually like Mr. Depp, who seems to have fallen on some hard times in recent years. We hope he isn’t playing any poker these days, whether he gets to keep his lizard talismans on him or not.
Seems like an intern’s job
No idea what suddenly brought this to mind, but we just love the phrase “Hoist with his own petard.” Taken from William Shakespeare’s Hamlet, it basically means a bomb-maker being blown up by their own bomb.
Or in less polite society, it might mean someone being blown away by their own flatulence. Anyway, The Daily Wire was all geared to drag on America’s sweetheart Patton Oswalt for being a bad comedian, when someone decided to have the accompanying photo be him literally holding an award for being good at his job. Oopsie!
Can never unsee it now
Cultural appropriation is an enormous can of worms that we’re not particularly inclined to open, thank you very much. Regardless of where you fall on the issue of whether it’s a big deal or not, though, we’re sure everyone reading this can agree that Justin Bieber shouldn’t be allowed… Well, anything really.
Proving that his stylistic choices are almost as bad as his musical ones, at one point he sported green dreadlocks. Then, a comedy account on Twitter pointed out that his dreads looked like the Grinch’s fingers, and now we can’t NOT see that.
Twitter user down, Twitter user down!
This Twitter dude thought he was being clever and subversive by saying there was a party at his house, but the police weren’t invited. Edgy! On a side note, if you want to keep this party from your parents, maybe announcing it on Twitter wasn’t the best call.
Anyway, it was apparently a slow day for the police department in Lee’s Summit, Missouri, because they saw the tweet and responded. They promised not to show up… but noted it seemed like nobody else would either. Ouch. Even the cops think he’s unpopular – let that sink in for a second…
A very un-royal burn
Up until about five minutes ago, we were not aware the British Royal Mail operated a Twitter account – or that it was so catty! This user named Chilly P wished to lodge an official complaint with them that his Valentine’s Day cards had not yet arrived.
Note, by the way, that Valentine’s Day is February 14 and his tweet is dated June 17, some four months later. Make of that what you will. Apropos of nothing, the Royal Mail, meanwhile, asked when exactly his mom mailed them. Does the Queen know you’re acting this way?
The best revenge is living well
Even if you don’t recognize this guy, we 100% guarantee that you’ve heard at least one of his songs. This is Chris Barron, lead singer of the band Spin Doctors, whose biggest hits in the ’90s were Two Princes and Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong.
While not as big of a hit as the former, Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong certainly made waves and was a modest success. That’s way more than Chris’s stepmother ever thought would become of him, apparently. Well, it really is like they say – the best revenge is living well.
Tomato, tomahto
The Daily Caller, a news and opinion website co-founded by Fox News’ Tucker Carlson, published a link to one of their articles with a rather provocative title. As the Daily Caller tells it, millennials are “so helpless they’re taking ‘adulting classes'” now. Far be it from us to impugn the journalistic integrity of such a publication, but here’s some much-needed clarification.
The youngest millennials are now in their mid-twenties, whereas the older ones are in their late thirties. Maybe we should stop painting them as incompetent children, whether older generations skipped a few life skills classes or not.
Definitely with the shell
There are quite a few things about this tweet that we find somewhat disturbing. The first concerns the fact that the original poster referred to the banana’s peel as a “shell.” It’s… It’s not a turtle, it’s a fruit.
Secondly, and coming in not far behind, is the suggestion that peeling a banana has somehow been optional this entire time. Was… this a thing people were doing? Did we just not get the memo? At least one other person didn’t get the memo either, and we support his decision to have the cops deal with this mess.
Hang on, still trying
Robyn Rihanna Fenty, who you might know as Robyn… We’re just kidding, it’s Rihanna. Who else is named that? Anyway, one Twitter user posted a pic of the nine-time Grammy Award winner with her mom Monica. The caption said, “Imagine giving birth to a legend.”
Well, the second user apparently didn’t have to strain his imagination muscles too much, because she thought her mom could definitely relate. Jury’s still out on her legendary status, but the folks on Twitter sure thought she was the Only Girl (In the World). Get it? Get it!?
Nope, not this year
Hey, anyone remember the creepy clown craze of 2016? Just what was the deal with that? Nobody’s trying to go home after a nine-hour day just to be stalked by a creepy twenty-year-old who emerged from a basement for the first time in weeks to scare strangers.
Anyway, it was a thing for a while, until something else – no doubt stupider – replaced it. Well, in 2017 it looked for a moment like it might be back. Police in Lawrence, Kansas, weren’t having any of it, though. Well, now we know how to get out of speeding tickets there.
Probably not, if we’re honest
Tesco, for the uninitiated, is sort of like the U.K.’s version of Walmart – a big and cheap one-stop-shop for everything you might need. Tesco Mobile, meanwhile, is the corporation’s mobile virtual network operator.
It’s virtual because it sort of piggybacks off of actual operators for their infrastructure and customer service. We guess we’re beating around the bush to say that we don’t know who runs their Twitter handle, but they should probably find someone else. Even if that guy dissed your operation, Tesco Mobile, maybe don’t suggest he should be happy for any action he gets.
All about perspective
Probably no one remembers John Gray’s 1992 relationship classic Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus nowadays, but its message hasn’t become outdated. It really is true – men and women are just wired a different way, which impacts the way they perceive the world.
A woman looked at her man’s phone face down on the table, and assumed he was either cheating or hiding something. A man, meanwhile, pointed out guys do that to let women know they’re focused on them, insecure creatures that they are. Well, hate to say this, but she kinda proved him right…
[Lady Gaga noise]
Lady Gaga sure is a strange one. We mean, don’t get us wrong – we love her and we love her music. She’s a trailblazing artist with a voice – and an image – that’s all her own. Unfortunately, sometimes that image mostly means being just the weirdest person ever. On November 7, 2012, Gaga tweeted (and we quote), “AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHRHRGRGRGRRRGURBHJB EORWPSOJWPJORGWOIRGWSGODEWPGOHEPW09GJEDPOKSD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!0924QU8T63095JRGHWPE09UJ0PWHRGW.”
True, statistically speaking
Every so often, news organizations of varying degrees of legitimacy publish articles about what a new study says. It really doesn’t matter what the study’s about, because another study will invariably come out that completely contradicts the first one.
All that matters is that it’s something that can be translated to clicks. Sure enough, claiming that eating ice cream for breakfast improves mental performance fits the bill perfectly. After all, what normal, well-adjusted people don’t kick off every new dawn by drowning their faces in a pint of Ben & Jerry’s?
Valuable life skills
Something occurs to us – in the grand war currently being waged by millennials and baby boomers, people from Generation X (the one sandwiched between them) hardly ever get any bad press. It’s almost like they’re the ones writing all these articles scientifically calibrated to anger both sides… Nah, we’re probably just being paranoid.
Anyway, the New York Post once suggested that millennials had pathetic DIY skills compared to boomers, so someone pointed out boomers’ gross inadequacies in blacksmithing. Yeah, it’s almost like certain skills become less valuable as time goes on. Crazy, we know.
So relatable
Sometimes, a Twitter user comes along who responds to a completely strait-laced news story with just the right zinger. This is one of those times.
When CNN reported that megastar sprinter Usain Bolt would have to give back one of his nine Olympic gold medals because one of his the members of his team was using the wrong kind of juice, she was reminded of why she hated group projects. Girl, that’s funny and all, but if you had a group project fall apart due to PEDs, you go to a very strange school.
A real ice burn
The Discovery channel’s official Twitter account is pretty much what you’d expect… until you provoke it. It all started innocently enough, with a fun fact about emperor penguins – they’re 3.8 feet tall on average! Fun!
Shoehorning themselves into the conversation, the NHL’s Pittsburgh Penguins chimed in to say that over in the ‘Burgh, the average height of a Penguin is six-foot-one. Not as fun! Apparently, Discovery’s handler was even less impressed, because they tore into their hockey playing ability. It’s all fun and games until you tick off a nature cable channel…
Isn’t that the goal?
If there’s one thing that most people can’t agree on, it’s the meaning and goal of life. For some people, life is all about getting more money and progressing through their career. For other people, this is the exact opposite of how they want to spend their days.
But most would be hard pressed to argue against the goal of life being the creation of a world that is better than it used to be. Except for the person who made this tweet. They definitely seem like they want children to have it harder than their parents did.
Mrs. Johanson chimes in
Everyone has a favorite teacher in high school. Even if you found the process of learning things to be completely annoying and useless, there was probably that one educator that really left an impact on you. Maybe it was because they taught you something great, or maybe it was just their personality.
Either way, it was seems that Mrs. Johanson left a great impression on these kids. And we’re guessing that was due to her ability to just tell things how they are without sugar coating them. In other words, Mrs. J is a total savage. Just look at this!
The magical bathroom
We’re not gonna lie, it can be pretty uncomfortable to go to the bathroom right next to someone. Public restrooms really are the worst. Urinals may be quite convenient, but the convenience suddenly doesn’t feel worth it when you’re doing your business next to someone that is about four inches away from you.
That’s just awkward. But we would still be totally down to use the urinals in this restroom. It looks like it would open up a path to the Chamber of Secrets in Hogwarts or something. Is this restroom practical? Eh, not really. But it’s cool looking.
Rest in peace, Macklemore
We were never big fans of the song “Thrift Shop” by Macklemore. While it was a nice break from the norm, the instrumental lost its charm after the 70th time we heard the song on the radio. Also, Macklemore’s bars, like most of the lyrics in rap songs that are meant to be funny, got old quickly. But you know what didn’t get old? Macklemore himself.
He’s still young and doing quite well. Mac Miller, on the other hand, tragically passed away. Are they the same person? No. Did this person confuse them? Absolutely.
Asking the sun to wait
Man, and we thought that we had made some pretty unrealistic demands in our time. Someone made a page that was designed to help people coordinate a meet up for the solar eclipse that happened a few years back, and everyone was excited to watch it.
Except for one person. This mother was concerned that the event would be happening on a school night and would therefore be exclusionary to young students. She suggested that it be moved. The only issue? You can’t really just decide that a solar eclipse should happen on a different day.
We understand as well
On a news story about a man that tried to fight his family over a pork chop, one brave soul said what we were all thinking. He understood why this man committed this crime. And to be honest, we do too.
We’re not saying that you should ever resort to violence to settle your disputes, as that is almost always a bad idea, but we do get where this guy was coming from. We mean, we’re talking about pork chops for goodness’ sake. Have you guys ever had pork chops? They’re delicious. Don’t touch our pork chops.
The end of childhood
Even though there are concrete dates and events that seem to signal that someone is growing up, the end of childhood is a more personal thing. Some people remain children their whole lives; others are never really children to begin with. Because of this, it can be hard to pinpoint exactly when people transition from childhood to adulthood.
But we tend to agree with this person that you are really an adulthood when you have that realization of just how important and amazing sleep is. If our parents sent us to bed at 8 PM, we would cry with joy.
A surefire solution to all phone problems
If you own a smartphone, odds are that you have accidentally gotten it wet at some point. While it might seem like that would spell out the end of your device’s life, there’s a really useful trick you can use to dry it off and save it.
Just put it in some rice. The rice will absorb the water, and your phone will live another day. This used to be a niche trick, but lots of people use it these days for all sorts of phone issues. But we doubt that it would be all that helpful for this phone.
What kind of room is that?
If you’re posting a picture of yourself on the Internet, just be aware that people are probably going to try to find something to make fun of you for. Even the most beautiful people have trolls in the comments looking to say something funny about their pictures.
Scroll through the comments on Kim Kardashian’s latest Instagram post if you don’t believe us. Anyways, this girl is very pretty, yet someone in her comments section pointed out the odd room that she was in. Halfway in between a bathroom and a kitchen, they wisely dubbed it a kathroom.
The issues with adulting
It’s been said before, but we’ll say it again: adulting is hard. We miss the days of just being able to lay around with no responsibilities aside from memorizing multiplication tables (we never did memorize those very well). Now we have jobs to deal with. That sucks. And there’s a whole slew of other issues that come along with being an adult. Like produce that expires quickly.
Days go by quickly now, and those bananas go bad way faster than we would like. It seems like our lives revolve around going to the grocery store. How boring.
The progress of technology
Technology is just getting more advanced faster and faster these days. New and amazing technological inventions come out every year or so now rather than every two years. This will just continue to get faster, and eventually we will arrive at the Singularity and the robots will take over and life will suck. Oops. But we’re not there yet.
Still, according to this Reddit post, tech has gotten to where dead people can communicate on the Internet. Amazing! That just has to be true, seeing as this guy made a comment about his wife’s eating habits. That’s a fatal mistake.
He has a good point
All movies are full of mistakes if you look closely enough. We all have that annoying friend that we bring along to the movie theater only to have them point out every plot hole and inconsistency in the action film we’re watching. Quiet! We’re trying to look at CGI explosions!
As annoying as that can be, this guy does have a really good point. For a movie series that’s about driving cars fast, the Fast and the Furious really does have a surprising lack of gas station stops. What, they never needed to refuel? They never wanted some candy?
Everyone’s a critic
We didn’t think that ice cream shops could get better, but this one went above and beyond by putting a cheesy joke on the glass around their ice cream. We love it. But as funny as it is, there’s always going to be someone that will critique it.
In this case, this guy actually really did think of something funnier. They could have said that it would make the ice scream. Sorry, funny ice cream shop, but this guy on Twitter has you beat. We can’t argue with his impressive pun skills. He is quite punny.
Putting on the pressure
There are a lot of stressful things about adulthood that no one ever warned us about. There’s that stress when calling up the doctor to make an appointment. There’s that stress when you walk out of a store without buying something (you just know that everyone thinks you’re stealing).
And there’s the worst stress of all: the stress of trying to put your change away while there’s a whole line of people behind you. They don’t even need to be doing anything to make the experience incredibly stressful. They just need to stand there. Menacingly.
A wolf on the Internet
Wolves are pretty scary animals. We’ve heard that their reputation as a violent animal is undeserved, but we’re still not entirely convinced. This person on the Internet tried to make a comment to help people understand that wolves aren’t out to hurt them, but we’re honestly not so sure. What if this is just a wolf in disguise?
Maybe they’ve learned to type and are trying to lull us into a false sense of security. Eh, probably not. Be kind to wolves folks. They’re just like huge, cute, giant-toothed, incredibly powerful puppies. Gulp.
